I have spent most of my time lately doing this:
I would love to be as classy as that lady when I study. But I sit here in the library...with unkempt hair, a floral hat paired with a striped shirt, and pants that are unfortunately short on me when I sit down, revealing my blindingly white, bony ankles. Sigh. It seems I missed an appointment with the fashion deities this morning.
Perhaps because of my extraordinary ability to be un-put-together, I've noticed lately my extraordinary affinity for all things generally classified as nerdy. I don't believe that nerdiness is a negative thing, however. I certainly hope it isn't anyway, because lately, I've developed a powerful testimony of my own nerdiness.
-In my Writing Fellows class today, I was asked to show the class how to use JSTOR database, because I use it for every paper that I write. I got really excited about showing them the wonders of JSTOR's bounties...and I also got blank stares from most everyone in the class. Oh well.
-I like to use weird words like "scintillating" in casual conversation, even though I don't always know what they mean. I'm generally talking about English-y things when I use these words, but still. (I do actually know what scintillating means though. I looked it up. Go on. Look it up yourself. It'll be scintillating, I guarantee you.)
-I ecstatically read the title of a scholarly article out loud to my roommate last night...before I realized she was staring at me with raised eyebrows and starting to laugh.
-I go to academic conferences and lectures for fun. Why do I do this?!? It's just like more class! (And the one today about Milton's treatment of temples and sacred spaces was awesome. Even though John S. Tanner is lots smarter than I am and I didn't understand nearly everything he said.)
However, despite my nerdiness, I feel like I am so behind and stupid in most of my classes. Everyone else always has better ideas. But I love their ideas, and I love finding out all these cool things from everybody else, so I'm just the nerdy class slowpoke, trying to keep up with everyone else. Hopefully I'll have things more figured out by the time I have to graduate. It kind of goes back to something the speaker at a stake RS meeting last night talked about--we have these crazy difficult weaknesses, but we want so badly for them to become strengths that we just keep attacking them, no matter how weak we feel when we do it. I want so much to learn and know all these cool things that I hear about in my classes that I just keep clinging on to the hot-air-balloon of smartness by my fingertips and try to stay on. Even though I'm closer to falling off than actually being the basket, I still want to go along for the ride and see wider vistas.
Sigh. Is it normal to love your major this much?
P.S. This is a more accurate depiction of me most of the time, I think. Minus the glamor. :)
P.P.S. I really am a relatively normal person who likes fluffy chick flicks, stupid YouTube videos, and playing Rockband on occasion.