(found here.)
Dear Stuffy Nose,
I respectfully request that you abstain from hindering my intellectual and physical progress any longer. You have already overstayed your contract (which I NEVER signed, by the way), and I insist that you allow me to attend to other more pressing matters in my life. I think this struggle has gone on quite long enough. Think of this as an order of eviction.
Cordially,
Your landlord(ette)
Dear Theraflu,
Please work? I know that Stuffy Nose is an inexorable guest, but please do your best to get rid of him.
Encouragingly,
Lisa's head (aka, the annoyed neighbor upstairs)
Dear Pile of Papers on my Desk,
I apologize for not giving you the attention I promised you a week ago. I really do plan to get to sorting you all out and assigning you your proper places. Stuffy Nose and Paper to Write have been more tenacious guests than I'd originally planned on. Meanwhile, if you felt like getting started on putting yourselves away, that would be fine with me.
Sincerely,
A Disorganized Student
Dear Robert Shaw and Samuel Barber,
Thank you for beautiful choral music that heals the soul. You still do more good than you know.
Gratefully,
That Tired One
Dear Dr. Siegfried's Midterm,
Even though you are disgustingly intimidating and a frightening monster to behold, and even though my research group does not wish to study together, and even though I am extremely fearful to attempt accomplishing you, I intend to rock your world. So just quit trying to scare me, because it's already worked, and now I'm going to throw my fear to the winds. Or something.
Unabashedly yours,
A Resolved Student That's Quivering in Her Sneakers
Dear Will,
I never do this. But...Come home? I miss you terribly.
Yours,
Lisa
Lisa. I love you so much and want you to feel better.
ReplyDeleteOooo! Looks like you got some spam! Congrats.
ReplyDeleteDear Landlord(ette)
ReplyDeleteI apologize for overstaying my unwelcome welcome. If you could just hand me over to some other unknowing poor soul, that would be fine with me. Until then, remember the Lord's words: "All these things will give thee experience, and be for thy good."
Cordially (back),
Stuffy Nose
Dear Lisa's head (aka, the annoyed neighbor upstairs),
I must apologize for my lack of function. For some reason this particular stuffy nose has a harder time budging than the scientists who created me anticipated. I will work harder to fulfill my purpose and make you happy! Don't give up and get plenty of rest and water!
Encouragingly,
Theraflu
Dear Disorganized Student,
Kindly tell that silly Stuffy Nose to stuff it's way out of here. I understand the Paper to write having higher priority. So a solution might be to take me and put me in a place you wont see me. Maybe that would clear up some space and help you think so you could focus on more pressing matters. When you're done with Paper to Write, then you can pull me out again and organize me... I wish I could make reparations to the situation, but you see... I'm just a stack of papers... Sorry I couldn't be of more help to you!
Sincerely,
Pile of Papers on your Desk
Dear Tired One,
We're both very pleased that you've benefited from our music. We would love to please you more with a new rendition of "Sonata to the Tired One" in B Minor. However, we regret to inform you that we will be unable to do so... Considering the fact that we're both too busy accepting the gospel here in the spirit world and preaching it to others. We hope that the music we composed while alive will suffice for your current circumstance.
Gratefully,
Robert Shaw and Samuel Barber
Dear Resolved Student That's Quivering in Her Sneakers,
You have me quivering in MY sneakers! If you're having trouble meeting with your research group, perhaps you might find another group you could tag along with (even though I'm guessing that you need to be with your particular group for a reason...). Either way, I feel as though I'm going to be dominated. However, if you do well, it is I who succeeds also. You see, my purpose is more to frighten you so that you'll learn the material than to frighten you so that you give up on the material. Good luck!
Much Love!
Dr. Siegfried's Midterm
Dear Lisa,
I almost feel like I know how you feel already... Help me know what to do for the next year and a half?
Your kindly dedicated and ever devoted friend,
Kent