Every time I check my email, about once every hour, all day long, I find about 5-10 new emails...of lists of things to do, questions to answer, assignments to finish, work to catch up on, etc. And it's getting to the point where I'm just afraid to check my email--especially if it's been three or four hours (heaven forbid!). I feel like I have anxious-avoidant personality disorder--you know, that one in basic psych textbooks where the child is afraid to talk to the parent because the parent has hurt his or her feelings so many times? But the child still wants to talk to the parent, in case the parent changes his or her behavior?
Yeah. That's me and Gmail.
I used to get happy, nice emails from my family and friends--"used to" being, you know, yesterday. Now I just get scary ones that give me lots more things to do. And that's not even including the ones that aren't from real people! How depressing. (Actually, that's not true. I got an email from my sister today. One email out of forty-something for the past twelve hours. Shiver shiver.)
According to Wikipedia, children with my same problem are characterized, among other things, "by avoidance of social interaction."
Clearly. Why do you think I'm on my email so often anyway, huh Wikipedia? And now even nonhuman communication is turning against me and making me fear it. But true to anxious-avoidant form--I can't stay completely away. I have to keep checking it, because WHAT IF I GET AN EMAIL FROM MY FAMILY? WHAT IF MY EMAIL DECIDES TO LEAVE ME SOME HAPPINESS? WHAT IF IT STARTS LOVING ME AGAIN?
Guess I'll take my chances.